Bleeding Wounds
by Lost Heart 89
Summary: WARNING! Abuse, Rape, Cutting, DMHP Slash, and Pissed Off!Harry all rolled into one. Don't like it, don't read it. Takes place in sixth year. Harry returns to Hogwarts an entirely new person, but will his friends accept him? Post OOTP!
1. Prologue

**Summery: **

**WARNING! Abuse, rape, cutting (Self-Mutilation), Slash, and pissed-off!Harry; all rolled into one. Don't like it, don't read it. Post OOTP! **

**Harry is abused by the Dursleys, and in his depression begins to cut himself. After running away, Harry meets a wild club-owner in the muggle world, who befriends him and takes him under her wing. Upon Harry's return to Hogwarts, everyone is surprised by his new attitude; some are even scared. However, one particular Slytherin is intrigued by this new Harry…**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! LAST TIME I'M GONNA SAY IT!**

**.:Prologue:.**

He could take it no longer; he had done this before…relying on it when he couldn't deal with life.

The blade was so sharp; it called to him, pleading the way it had all the other times.

The crimson fluid dripped onto the floor, soothing his pain.

'_Nobody cares anyway. How could they? After all the pain I've caused. I'm responsible for so much. I don't deserve happiness anymore.'_

He pulled the blade across his skin once again. He was entranced by the steady flow of blood.

Turning to his window, he saw his reflection against the view of the night sky.

'_I hate you. I HATE YOU!'_ He yelled in his head, he yanked the knife across wrist a third time.

He saw the blood spill faster; he dropped the knife and gripped his arm, attempting to stop the blood flow, while relishing in the pain.

As the blood slowed, he heard his "Family" yelling for him. How he hated them, he'd seen sewer rats receive better treatment.

He heard the stomps of feet, a sign that someone was coming. He looked around for something to clean up his wrist with.

He quickly settled for pulling his shirtsleeve down; he didn't worry about the stain on the floor, there was blood everywhere in that room, left behind from his _punishment_.

He heard someone pound on the door, "It's time to make Dinner! Get your ass downstairs!" He heard the click of the locks on his door, indicating that he was now allowed out of his room.

The boy waited until he heard the footsteps descend down the stairs; he then pulled himself up and rushed to the bathroom, where he slammed and locked the door.

He quickly plunged his forearm under the faucet. He watched as the water turned red when it touched his skin. The water was scalding and he cherished the feeling.

This was his release; his savior; his addiction…

This was a typical day, in the life of Harry Potter.


	2. In Harm's Way

**A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to post! Problems of my own were causing a delay in the posting process!**

**I apologize if the first chapter isn't all that good, I suck at writing the first chapter of a story.**

**Also I write better when I'm manic, (I'm bipolar) however I've been but on meds (which is a good thing) so my manic episodes are far and few between. **

**So my writing ability is not what it used to be, however I think all the good that comes from my being on meds far outweighs that loss. : P**

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**Thank you all for the reviews! MUAH!!!!!!**

**Sorry that this chapter is so short, a lot of what's on this page is A/Ns, but in the future the chapters will start to get longer, and there will be a great deal less A/Ns.**

**Actually, I plan on re-writing this chapter, so you can expect that up soon enough.**

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**.:In Harm's Way:.**

Harry Potter lay on the floor of his room whimpering in pain.

He had just received his daily "punishment"; and, despite the fact that he could barely bring himself to stand, he was forcing himself to get up to do his chores, for he knew his punishment would be far worse if he failed to complete the tasks Vernon had assigned to him.

He trembled at the thought of the horrors he knew his uncle would unleash upon him if he was pushed far enough.

The only reason Vernon held back as much as he did was because he knew Harry would be incapable of cleaning the house to the fullest if he had broken bones, or other such injuries that would hinder him.

When Harry was leaving King's Cross two weeks before, he thought that the threat of his friends would keep the Dursleys from mistreating him. However, as he found out upon his return to Number Four Privet Drive, their anger far outweighed their fear.

Vernon believed Harry to have told the other "freaks" to threaten them, and that, upon his already mounting hatred of the boy, pushed him over the edge.

Harry never allowed himself to unleash his magic upon Vernon, and cease the beatings, for he believed that he deserved all the punishment he got, and more.

His depression brought on by the death of his godfather had already begun to consume him, and having the added pressure of the furious Dursley's caused Harry to let himself fall into darkness, where he was devoid of emotions and the ability to feel pain.

He now only felt anger, which he released upon himself again and again by adding to his morbid collection of cuts.

He had started cutting almost as soon as he arrived "home". He had been putting the dishes in their respective places one day, while the Dursley's enjoyed one ridiculous TV show or another, and as he was putting away the cooking utensils, he opened the knife drawer.

There was a large collection of knives, and, as Harry realized, it would be unlikely for it to be noticed if one were to go missing.

With this in mind, Harry grabbed a small knife with a silver handle, and put it in his back pocket. The shirt he was wearing was one of Dudley's hand-me-downs, and was therefore big enough to cover the knife from view.

When he was done with his chores, he went upstairs and hid it under the loose floorboard under his bed.

He had no idea, at the time, just how much he would come to rely upon the knife's cold metal blade.

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As Harry trudged upstairs, he thought about just how much he would like to curl up in his bed at Hogwarts - or any bed that wasn't falling apart and lacking in blankets – but he couldn't. Instead, he had to go into Dudley's second bedroom and await his final punishment for the day. Only then could he crawl into his pathetic excuse for a bed and fall asleep, only to be tortured then by his nightmares.

He never got any peace, never a moment of happiness; but Harry no longer cared, he was beyond trying to have any semblance of happiness in his life, he wanted to lie down and die, but, as he thought bitterly, he was the boy-who-lived; he was the savior of the wizarding world.

He knew he couldn't leave his life behind, until he had killed Voldemort once and for all.

Harry was lying on his floor when he heard his uncle's heavy footsteps ascending the staircase.

He never even moved when the door opened and he was kicked from behind. Vernon grabbed him and rolled him over so that he was turned to face him.

Harry could see that Vernon was yelling, but couldn't hear the words. It was like he was watching a movie, and it was all happening to somebody else, Harry didn't even feel it when he was kicked in the face. He was completely disassociated from the situation, from his body.

_**(Read the A/N at the end)**_

He watched as his uncle kicked him in the stomach, punched him in the face, but none of it made it register in his mind, that this was all happening to him.

Finally, Vernon yelled something at him and left, with the door still wide open.

Harry vaguely wondered if Vernon was done for the night, but he knew that didn't make sense, because if he was he would've locked the door behind him.

His question was answered when Vernon re-entered the room, Dudley trailing behind his Smeltings stick in hand.

It occurred to Harry that this was new, and he allowed himself to focus on what Vernon was saying long enough to hear the explanation.

Vernon was talking to Dudley when his words became clear, "…teach him a lesson. Make him pay for what he had those _freaks_ did to you."

He then turned to Harry.

"As for you, apparently my punishments aren't hard enough or else you wouldn't just lay there. I want to hear you scream, _beg_ for it to end, pay for the hell you put us through; so things are going to start getting a lot worse."

With that, Dudley moved forward and brought his Smeltings stick down upon Harry, who just barely had time enough to retreat into himself once more before he felt the sting of pain.

He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but eventually the two left Harry alone, and locked the door behind them.

Vernon's words worried Harry, he could remember just how twisted Vernon's "punishments" could be; but he hadn't done that in years, least of all now that Harry was aware of his powers.

However, that thought did little to ease his mind as he drifted off to sleep, where horrors awaited him that he couldn't keep himself from suffering.

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**A/N: I've spent a lot of time in facilities, therapy, and other such treatment programs for my own self-harm. **

**I met a lot of other people who had lived lives much like mine. **

**I found out that it is a common occurrence for victims of emotional and physical abuse to disassociate themselves from their own body, and from what's going on around them. **

**Some feel like they are outside their own body, watching from the sidelines, some feel like they are watching everything from behind their eyes, some have other ways to view the abuse, but in most of them, none of what's going on around them really registers. **

**I was a victim of emotional and sexual abuse. When my abuser was being verbally abusive, I would disassociate from the situation, and watch it all like a video was playing in front of my eyes, and I wasn't really there. I was watching it like a film. I often didn't even hear what my abuser was saying to me. **

**This, however, is less common with sexual abuse victims, because generally such abuse is so traumatic that it penetrates any wall the victim tries to put up.**

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**In some ways, what's happening to Harry here is what happened to me. **

**I became so overwhelmed with my own depression that I shut off my emotions and only allowed myself to feel anger. I was cold-hearted, and didn't care about anyone. **

**That's why I started to self-harm; it allowed me to have feeling again, if only for a short while.**

**I'm telling you this so you can understand what Harry is going through. I'm sort of writing Harry much like myself, (however, he will be a much nicer person. lol) So he will self-harm to feel ****something****, because he really has nothing else to feel.**

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**In future chapters Harry will give in even more to his anger and, upon meeting a club-owner in the muggle world, who is hard-rock, pissed-off, wild-child, he begins to smoke and drink, and let the rocker in him come out. **

**I've decided against him being Goth, because, although I have done the whole Goth thing myself, I prefer Emo-rocker. So that's the way Harry's character is going to head. **

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**Also, the club-owner is American, so he's gonna learn all about bands such as AC/DC, Nightwish, Slipknot, Dropkick Murphys, HIM, Alice in Chains, Pantera, Pink Floyd, Marilyn Manson, Black Sabbath, etc. **

**Oh, Marilyn Manson and Ozzy kick ass, and I don't care if anyone says otherwise. **

**Also, Nightwish is my all time favorite band! It's Emo-Rock. The music is hard-rock, but the lead singer sings opera. VERY COOL!!! I LOVE THEM!!**


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